Brayden and Kaitlyn's First Birthday Party

It went GREAT! A lot of people showed up. Not as many as I invited but still more than I could have expected. Even Gabby was there! The only thing that really pisses me off is that I had no time AT ALL to take pictures of my son at his birthday party! I've got a few pictures that my brother in law took of him destroying his smash cake and I'm sure other people took some pictures too. I'll just have to get them from everyone. We got a lot of wonderful compliments on the house and our paint choices. I was loving it. Brayden got tons of toys which is great but what he really needed was clothes! We just bought him a bunch of 6-9 month clothes a few months ago when he FINALLY grew out of 3-6 months and he decided to start growing super fast. Now he doesn't fit in his 6-9 month clothes anymore. Babies are a pain! Haha. Anyway, I'm really glad the party went well and I wanted to thank everyone that came. I'm glad we made a big deal out of it! Love you all!

Why can't anything go right?

First of all, Brayden's father is a jackass. I made a huge mistake by having a child with him but I wouldn't take Brayden back for anything. He has been slacking on seeing brayden since the day he was born and hasn't paid me a cent in child support. I gave up on trying to get him to see his son. Lately he's been calling once a month or so to ask if he can take him. I never say no unless we already have plans and I made sure to talk to him about notifying me in advance. He's pissed because I won't let him take Brayden overnight. Brayden doesn't know him well enough for that. I would like him to get to know his son before taking him for a long period of time. This is for my son's sake, not to make Mike mad. He thinks I am being completely unfair and that I treat him like shit. I think I'm being completely reasonable considering he's a deadbeat dad. He just pisses me off.

Second, Steven's ex-wife is at total BITCH! When they were going through their divorce she didn't let him see Gabby for a whole month. She even tried to get him to sign over his rights at one point. She told the judge she was afraid Steve was going to take Gabby and he set it up so that he could have supervised visitation for the first few months, he could take her to his apartment for a few hours the next few months, and after that he would be able to take her Sunday noon to Monday noon. Well, just recently we started taking her 10:00am to 5:00pm on Saturdays which is better than before but the court date was a year ago. We should be getting her overnight by now. She claims that because he missed a few days of seeing her that he should have to start all over again. She also claims that Gabby has been sick every time we bring her home which is total bullcrap. We are very clean people. She just tries to come up with every excuse possible not to let us see her. I'm so sick of all this shit.

Anyway, I just had to get all that out. Hooray for baby mama drama.

Rant complete.

Wild Man

I took these pictures of Brayden yesterday. His personality is really starting to show more and more. He is so wild! He still isn't looking like a 1 year old to me but he's still got about 3 weks to change! I can't believe how big he's getting :(

Brayden's Story Continued 2...

So it had been 11 hours since my c-section and Brayden was on his way to Children's Mercy. Once he got there they bombarded him with tests. He was given an MRI, a CT scan, and multiple ultrasounds. They found a blood clot clogging the major artery in his left arm. I was called by one of the nurses there and informed that they planned to do surgery on his arm that day in order to make room for swelling. He was put on blood thinners, given a breathing tube, an IV in his foot, one in his belly button, and god knows what other kind of things they poked him with. They did what's called a fasciotomy and an extended carpal tunnel release. At the time they were telling me that they weren't sure if he would get to keep his arm or not. I was discharged from St. Luke's East Sunday evening and went straight over to Children's Mercy. He had tubes and cords hanging everywhere! Then there was the giant bandage on his arm. All I could see were his fingers which had swelled up like balloons. I'd never seen anything like it. I wasn't allowed to hold him for the first week. I think that was the hardest part. The doctors planned to take him back into surgery the next morning to clean out the wound and see how it was looking but Brayden's blood condition had other plans. In order to take care of his wounds and keep him from losing too much blood during the process, they had to take him off of his blood thinners. They said he would need to be off of them for a total of 4 hours prior to the surgery in order for the thinners to wear off. He had been off of them for 3 hours and I was there at his bedside like I was everyday. My mom had gone out to the waiting room to get my step dad and tell him to come back and visit for a bit (they only allowed one person other than me or Brayden's father back there at a time) and his nurse for the day was at lunch. Brayden began crying in pain all of a sudden and at first I thought nothing of it but one of the other nurses came over and checked him. She noticed that his fingers on his right hand were a pale white, a few seconds later he went into respiratory distress, his fingers returned to their pink color, and I was shoved out of the way by doctors and nurses of all types. I had NO idea what was happening. All I could do was stand there and watch in amazement, unsure whether to cry or scream or just faint! I began crying uncontrollably of course right as my step dad had made it to his bedside. He ran back to get my mom. Eventually one of the nurses realized I was standing there and came over to comfort me. She convinced me to go into one of the family rooms they have in the NICU right as my mom got back. We waited there impatiently for someone to come back and explain everything to us. Then, every mother's worst nightmare walked into that room. Four doctors in white coats with bad news. FOUR! After seeing the look of horror on my face, they quickly assured me that Brayden was going to be okay. They explained to me that what they thought happened was while he was off the blood thinners his body formed a new clot in his right arm, stopping the blood flow to his fingers and causing them to turn white. They believed it then dislodged itself into his lungs causing him to go into respiratory distress, although they never found this clot. They then informed me that one of the MRI's they had done showed signs of multiple mini strokes which they believe occured in utero. They ended up doing the surgery the next day, only this time they were sure not to keep him off of the blood thinners for more than a couple of hours. After the surgery, the doctor told me it looked like some of the muscle in his left arm had died and later it would have to be replaced. Fortunately, it turned out it was only some tissue on top of the muscle that had died and he wouldn't have to have the muscle replaced after all. He was kept at Chlildren's Mercy for a total of 3 weeks where I visited him every single day. It seemed like every day I saw him there was one less cord hanging from him and once they finally let me hold him, I held him all day long. He came home on my original due date, November 11th. I was so nervous. I was now the one that had to give him shots in his little thighs twice a day, change the bandage on his swollen little arm once a day, and wake up every few hours to feed him. After a month or so, his arm had healed enough that he didn't need the bandage anymore. After his 3 month mark his blood was tested and he was taken off blood thinners. My baby is turning one next month. There are no signs of that blood clot or any new ones. We still don't know if there will be any long term effect from his strokes but he sure seems perfect to me. He is crawling everywhere, climbing up on everything, standing on his own, saying "mama" and "dada", eating solid foods, and will more than likely start walking within the next month. He is my angel and I love him more than anything in the world!

Thank you for reading Brayden's story. It's a story I will remember vividly for the rest of my life.

Enjoy your weekend!

Brayden's Story Continued...

So the doctor had decided it was time to get Brayden out and that a c-section was the only logical option. I wasn't dilated at all so if he had induced me it would have taken forever and they would have ended up doing a c-section anyway. They put in a catheter first thing (without any pain meds), put in an I.V., gave me a spinal to numb me from the chest down, and before I knew it, it felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest and they were pulling him out! I couldn't see anything during or after the procedure of course because of that damned sheet. My mom was in the room with me though and she saw him when they pulled him out. She said he came out in a little blue ball with his feet way up by his head. They took him over to a table and began repeatedly lifting his left arm and dropping it. It seemed like it was a whole 30 minutes before I got to see him! He was born at 2:24am on October 24th, 2008, 7 lbs, 4 oz, 19 inches long, and my god was he beautiful. When they finally brought him over to me he was moving his mouth around looking for food. He was so cute. After a few minutes, everything but his left arm had started to turn pink. The damned thing stayed blue. At first they thought the umbilical cord had been wrapped around it and caused it to bruise. I was just so glad to finally meet him and see that he was alive and breathing. Once they stapled me up, we were both brought back to my hospital room. I got to try to breast feed him and they had me give him a supplement because his blood sugar was low. They ended up taking him to the nursery for what was left of the night. I was able to get a couple hours of sleep before being woken up by first my OBGYN coming in to say "Boy, you weren't kidding yesterday when you said you hadn't felt him move!" He thought I was being silly. Then, a little while later a nurse came in to tell me how Brayden was doing. She said his blood sugar had come up some but that his platelet count was considerably low. They were very concered about his arm but still weren't sure of the cause. Later, another woman showed up to tell me that they were taking him to Children's Mercy Hospital. I was going to be stuck at St. Luke's East while my baby was miles away at another hospital. I have never been more scared in my life. I BALLED my eyes out. At about 1:30pm they wheeled him in in a little baby box so I could say goodbye. I wasn't allowed to hold him and every time I tried to touch him he screamed bloody murder like my touch was killing him. It hurt so bad to see my baby in so much pain and not be able to comfort him. It was 11 hours after my son was born, I had held hm only once, and they were taking him away from me.

I will post more tomorrow!

Brayden's Story

Today Brayden is 11 months old. In the beginning, we weren't sure if he was going to make it. Then we weren't sure if he would get to keep his arm, then it was his fingers...

I thought since Brayden made it this far I'd remind everyone of his story day by day (being that it's too long to read all at once). So here it is, my version of the day I met Brayden and the months that followed.

Thursday, October 23rd I had an appointment with my doctor to check up on my pregnancy. I mentioned to him that I hadn't remembered feeling him move at all that day or possibly even the day before. He suggested that I go home and monitor his movement for the next two hours. If he didn't move at least a few times he suggested I call him. I waited about four hours and he didn't budge once. I called my doctor's office around 6:00pm and got a hold of the doctor on call. I told him what had been going on and he told me I was welcome to come to the hospital to get monitored if I wanted to. I decided to call my mom instead. I went over to her house so she could help me try getting him to move. Finally, at about 10:00pm, when we still hadn't gotten him to move after laying on my back, pushing on tender areas, moving around, and trying everything possible, we decided it was time to go to the hospital. My mom, step dad, step sister, and I all drove up to St. Luke's East so I could be monitored. The nurses hooked me up to the machines and tracked his movement for about 45 minutes before they decided to have the doctor on call come in. He arrived about an hour later, looked at his chart of movements for the time that I had been there, and decided he wanted to do what's called a Biophysical Profile. Basically, they did a 30 minute ultrasound that scored him on his level of amniotic fluid, and movements in each limb. His score was a 2 out of 8. The nurse said he didn't even move a finger throughout the entire ultrasound. This was around the time I stopped thinking they were going to tell me I was silly and send me home. The doctor then decided it was time to get him out....

I will continue the next chance I get!